Long Jokes PG202

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink.


He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.


The poor man starts crying.


The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."


"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."


"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison. 

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos.”

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You've ever given rat traps as gifts.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You clean your fingernails with a stick.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if . . .

Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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