SAVE the PIN and FOLLOW
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the bathroom.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle.
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed with what he's done with his life.
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.
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You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to lie down on his back and float in it, then you have something.
-Joe E. Brown
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Remember that honesty is the best policy. Unless you’re dealing with other people.
-Jason Love
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Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
-Jonathan Winters
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Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
-Victor Borge
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He who laughs last didn’t get it in the first place.
-Rodney Dangerfield
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Life - a never-ending audition in front of people who are a lot less talented than you are.
-Vinny Badabing
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Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
-Woody Allen
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Life is what happens when you’re not watching television.
-Jason Love
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Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.
-Fran Liebowitz
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Life is full of loneliness, misery, and suffering, and it’s over much too soon.
-Woody Allen
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They say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” I tried it, but it turns out l’m allergic to something in lemonade. I think it’s the optimism.
-Deric Harrington
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There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s a train.
-Margaret Smith
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The meek shall inherit the earth. They won’t have the nerve to refuse it.
-Jackie Vernon
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Blank minds think alike.
-Tony Invergo
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It’s true that misery loves company. If you ever doubt that, look at a No-Pest Strip. It’s covered with flies. You’d think that the first fly would tell any others, “Go around! Go around!”
-Margaret Smith
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How did a fool and his money get together?
-George Carlin
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Nature also abhors a vacuum salesman.
-Jason Love
SAVE the PIN and FOLLOW