SAVE the PIN and FOLLOW
A United States Marine was deployed to the front.
While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do.
He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).
He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note:
"I can’t remember which one you are. Please keep your picture and send the rest back."
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They say the camera adds ten pounds, but that’s only if you eat the whole thing.
-Myq Kaplan
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Food tastes better when somebody else makes it.
-Jason Love
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The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
-George Carlin
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When you’re down and out, lift up your head and shout, “Help!”
-Henny Youngman
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l’m a dreamer, but every time I reach for the stars my underpants get stuck in my butt.
-Danny Liebert
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Remember, the early worm gets devoured by the early bird.
-Jason Love
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A day without sunshine is like, you know. . . night.
-Steve Martin
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I’ve got a frog in my throat that tastes like chicken.
-Kelly
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Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. l say the glass is too big.
-George Carlin
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An optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees it as half empty. A realist sees it as totally full: half with water, half with air.
-Vinny Badabing
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow’s yard, let him worry about cutting it.
-Fred Allen
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l discovered the sound of one hand clapping, and it only cost me an arm.
-Strange de Jim
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What if my right hand doesn’t care what the left is doing?
-Jason Love
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What good is happiness? It can’t buy you money.
-Henny Youngman
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Happiness is the quiet lull between problems.
-Paul Reiser
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Having a hole in the head doesn’t always indicate an open mind.
-Henny Youngman
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Two heads are better than one, unless you’re cleaning them.
-Craig Sharf
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Two heads are better than one, especially if they happen to be on the same coin.
-Henny Youngman
SAVE the PIN and FOLLOW