A man gets on a plane and is seated next to a young kid.
The kid won't stop talking during the flight so the man turns to him and says, "Lets talk."
The kid replies, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"
The man replies, "How about string theory?"
The boy says, "That's a very interesting topic. But first, do you know why rabbits, horses, and cows poop all have different poop even though they all eat grass?"
The man replies, "I have no idea."
The boy smiles and says, "How do you expect to discuss string theory when you don't know crap."
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertable top.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've ever bought a used cap.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've ever stolen toilet paper.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Places'.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Yer have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
The ASPCA raids yer kitchen.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
You have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so ya can get grandma a new plug of tobacco
-Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if . . .
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
-Jeff Foxworthy
