A truck driver stops at a restaurant to get some food and rest.
A gang of bikers approach him while he's eating and start to mess with him.
They call him names and throw food at him but he doesn't do anything about it.
When he's finished he pays his bill and leaves.
After he leaves one of the bikers says, "Well he isn't much of a man is he?"
The waitress says, "He isn't much of a truck driver either. He just ran over 20 motorcycles on his way out."
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To me, guys in bars are all the same, white collar, blue collar, flea collar. They all just sniff around, scratch, and then look for a place to bury their bone.
-Pamela Yager
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Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
-Judy Tenuta
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I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
-Laura Kightlinger
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I was dating this girl for two years, and right away the nagging starts: “I wanna know your name.”
-Mike Binder
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My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
-Sarah Silverman
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I have one pick-up line that never works. If I’m at a club and I see a guy I like I smile and if he smiles back and I feel really comfortable I’ll walk over and say, “Stick it in!”
-Margaret Cho
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Literally everyone I know is having a baby and I’m childless, except for this boy that I’m dating. He’s so young he has that new car smell. Yummy. Fresh wax.
-Caroline Rhea
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Men date thin girls because they’re too weak to argue and salads are cheap.
-Jennifer Fairbanks
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Sometimes I’ d rather stay home and watch the new HBO movie of the week than go out to a bar and see reruns of guys I’ve dated.
-Pamela Yager
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The older you get the lower your standards get. I used to be so picky. Oh, when I get married he’s going to be tall, handsome, rich… and l’m down to: registered voter. I’d marry a midget just for the handicapped parking.
-Kathleen Madigan
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I’m dating a guy who’s twenty-one. That’s seven in boy years.
-Lisa Goich
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I dated a younger man, but we had nothing in common. I asked him where he was when Elvis died. He was in amniotic fluid.
-Robin Roberts
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The last guy I dated bought his condoms at Baby Gap.
-Suzanne Flagge
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Three daughters and people ask, “Were you upset that the third child was a girl?” I say, “No, not at all. I’m whittling a boy out of wood right now.”
-Bob Saget
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I’m living on a one-way, dead-end street. I don’t know how I got there.
-Steven Wright
