The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard.
Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put this word into a sentence.
I'll give you an example for flower. "In the middle of the circle was a large teardrop shaped flower garden". You see? Nice and easy.
Now, whoever made a sentence for the word plenipotentiary, there will be no homework for a month for him or her.
So, start now. PLENIPOTENTIARY.”
Nobody seemed to do it but a boy called Darrell ( Stupidest kid in the classroom) far in the back raised his hand.
Everybody stared at him and opened their mouth. Even Mrs Smith. " Oh Darrell, don't tell me you got it. I mean it is impossible for you to get the right answer for easy questions in the first place.”
Mrs Smith embarrassed him. Nearly everyone laughed.
“No Miss, I actually got it. So here it goes, " In the classroom, the teacher shouted out the word plenipotentiary." " Darrell replied.
Later, he went home knowing that he don't have to do homework for a month.
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I got a computer. I wrote an apology note to my VCR for ever thinking it was difficult. You find someone in this country who can print out an envelope. Maybe the fifth envelope, but you have to kill four to get to the fifth one.
-Elayne Boosler
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They say that computers can’t think, but I have one that does. It thinks it’s broken.
-Gene Perret
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IBM is spending ten million dollars to develop a computer that thinks like a person. They’ve already made a computer think like one of the Spice Girls, but that’s because they forgot to plug it in.
-Wally Wang
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The new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause sever swelling. So what s the problem?
-Jay Leno
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I don’t understand why some guys get self-conscious when they buy condoms. I don’t get embarrassed when I buy condoms; I get embarrassed when I throw them out after they expire.
-Jack Archey
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The most effective birth control I know is a toddler with the croup and diaper rash.
-Kate Zannoni
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I used to be very creative, I could make a complete gourmet dinner using only two cans. I had to stop, though. The sanitation guys took away the cans.
-Fran Chernowsky
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I’m a good cook.I can make fruit!
-Tanya Luckerath
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The Great Chefs of Ireland, that would be a thick book, wouldn’t it? It would be a pamphlet saying, “Try another country.”
-Tim Allen
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I made lobster recently. I’m squeamish, I didn’t want to kill lt. So I just boiled the water and played some Michael Bolton tapes. It committed suicide.
-Wendy Liebman
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Makeup is such a weird concept. I wake up in the mornin and look in the mirror: “Gee, I really don’t look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue, I’d be more attractive,”
-Cathy Ladman
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In high school I had the worst case of acne ever. And my mother told me boys didn’t ask me out because I didn’t wear enough makeup. Hello! If you can’t see enough of these revolting scars and bumps, let me highlight them with Rosebud Spring from Revlon! That’s like putting spotlights on landfill to lure prospective home buyers.
-Ann Oelschlager
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I don’t wear makeup because I was raised by the wolves. All male wolves. They didn’t wear makeup. Although one did wear deodorant, so I learned about that. So that’s good.
-Ellen Degeneres
